Tag Archives: blogging

Thank God for Blogs

“How are you doing now?”
You text, just like any other moment
On any other day.
I don’t reply ’cause
I don’t know what to say.
You bombard me with
Stories of things that amused you:
Cara Delevingne for Topman/Topshop
Your brother’s antics
Where you ate lunch at
(That Burger King shop we frequent?)

I don’t know how to do this,
I don’t know how you do.
Like everything’s just normal–
Well, that’s just bull.
On the back of my mind
I can’t erase your face
Looking lost, like you just had
A sad epiphany
And I have no idea what triggered it.

I stare at the screen
Of my computer
Codes not making sense
Unable to follow simple instructions
To make some program work.
Most everything else seems trivial now.
I can’t focus
But I can’t rant
Specially not on social sites; you might see.
I don’t want you to worry.
Heck, I don’t want to be worried
But I can’t help it.

It’s noon already
On a Sunday
And I have two papers and
An exam on Tuesday
So as I sit here
Tears streaming down my face
Texting you like everything’s okay
I’m truly thinking:
“Thank God for blogs.”

*******23

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As Luck Would Have It

The four-leaf clover. Stuff of legends, this one is.

A day before our college-wide carolfest (and also the day of an exam and a ‘learning center activity’ worth ~20% and ~7.5% of my grade in those subjects, respectively), all my majors’ subjects were cancelled due to an ongoing seminar held by the Philippine Society of Molecular Biology (something like that), which my professors and selected senior students had to attend. So basically, I just had one class (4-5:30 pm) and choir rehearsals afterwards. The night before, we had a very unsuccessful rehearsal due to the lack of people present; we couldn’t get our dynamics right and a lot of people weren’t able to remember their tunes. This happening two days before the competition, in my entire choir history, was unspeakable and unacceptable; thus, we finished the night in a glum mood. Despite wanting to practice, I also couldn’t stay late tonight due to my exams. So my plans for the next night & day were:

  • Study (not just read) Chapter 2 of From Genes to Genomes (FGtG)
  • Wake up early and go to school, as usual; but stay at the library the whole day, save for lunch time
  • Attend my class at 4-5:30 pm, and afterwards, my choir rehearsal at 5:30-7 pm.

When I went home, I just crashed on the couch because I felt tired. I didn’t plan to sleep; in fact, I couldn’t sleep for nearly an hour before I did. I wasn’t able to change out of my clothes (nor wash my face, brush my teeth, the whole enchilada) since I didn’t even plan on sleeping in the first place. This was alright in the long run though, as it will hopefully help in my recovery from colds that I am currently afflicted with. But then, the universe/God decided to have a field day with me.

When I woke up and was perusing through my clothes, I decided to wear a skirt. I used a newly-bought razor to shave my legs and did so while taking a bath. For the first time ever in my history of shaving (which I do in between waxes), I got nicked, and so many times! In fact, I ended up with 3 small ones (as big as ‘.’) and 6 big ones so much for flawless legs. The wounds were the kind that were shallow but kept bleeding, so I had to hunt for some Band-aids and Bactroban (an antibacterial ointment; works nicely on wounds). Since I was running late because I was too busy stopping the bleeding, I decided to go with what I initially planned to wear; I thought that the bleeding would stop and the wounds be relatively unnoticeable in an hour. Well, I apparently had another think coming.

Before getting in the car, my grandmother made a remark to me about not getting a hot beverage whenever she’s heated up some water, but looking for some when there weren’t any. So to pacify her, I filled a mug 2/3 of the way..only to realize, once I was in the car and we have sped away, that I didn’t have any of my morning cocoa with me. #facepalm right? So I offered my sister a drink from my jug and transferred the hot water there instead. Next, when I was putting my ‘face base’ (which is a lavender-tinged moisturizer of sorts), a couple of drops landed on my dark navy blue shirt! Talk about disaster! I tried washing them away but they wouldn’t completely fade, so I just decided to ‘paint’ on a design of stitches (more on this later). I was really frustrated at this point because my wounds were still bleeding, my legs looked butchered, and my shirt was a mess. I was even starting to sweat, which rarely happened with our car’s AC. All these within the first 2 hours of the day. 😦

By this time, we were nearing the mall where I was supposed to be dropped off, since it has a jeep terminal which would have made my commuting easier. Driven by frustration, I decided to tell my mom that I’ll just go down at her office and commute from there, even though the commuting would be loads harder. I relayed my frustrations to her and she wasn’t..much help really, but she couldn’t be blamed. I even told her I wanted to cry because everything was going downhill. I possibly couldn’t be in the right mind to study with all the pent-up frustration! But when my mom left me (because she was going to be late; she waited for me for a couple of seconds), that’s when I really broke down.

I’ve never had a day like this before. I’ve experienced days when I’ve had to cram everything due that day, be it various requirements or tests and quizzes, but they have never given me such frustration. I guess it was all the little things together that just convinced me that today was doomsday, figuratively. But after crying it out (which, as Violet said, can be a really great stress-relieving habit), I composed myself and put what few Band-aids I had on the bigger wounds on my legs. I then went up to my mom’s office and told myself that I could study there even if her office-mates were noisy (I swear, it’s like a market up there. I remember asking her once how the heck she manages to get things done.)

Maybe now, my ‘luck’ would change. Once in my mom’s office, she told me that my stitch designs looked ghastly and insisted on my removing them, which I did with her soap and dried them using paper. It worked, even though it felt really cold for a couple of hours. Then, I set-up on her table and started reading FGtG. After a while, I accompanied her to buy extra food from the canteen, extra Band-aids from their in-house shop, and snacks for what I foresaw as a long night due to things I still haven’t studied. We bought pineapple slices and pork liver steak, too. 🙂 Then, their 3 pm snack time rolled around. Usually, they buy raw ingredients and just cook different foods themselves; but today, one of them treated the whole office to 4 boxes of Shakeys’ pizza! Ah, what a feast for the palette.

Afterwards, I arrived at school earlier than usual and even got to chat with my group mates and teacher. Then I went to practice, in which we fine-tuned our transitions, choreography, and mostly got everything correct. On our way home, we met up with my uncle who got a call past 8 pm; apparently, a water pipe broke/burst and the water supply was going to be turned off at 9pm! My mom and I hurried home and went about filling drums and pails. The water was turned off at 10pm.

Just starting to study now. I hope that God will guide me throughout the night, and that He, or the universe, won’t deal me any more mishaps. I also hope that I’ll still have my voice for tomorrow, even if sleep-deprived.

Hoping,

*******23

P.S.: It’s my first time writing a blog post throughout the day. I guess it’s really different when you write about what happened a mere couple (2-4) of hours after that thing happened; the emotions are still fresh, as well as the details. 8) Such a long post though.

Now Showing: Awkward

Lately I’ve been really into the TV series Awkward wherein 15 y.o. Jenna Hamilton (as it started; she turned 16 some episodes back) who has a HUGE crush on Matty McKibben ends up having to choose between him and his best friend, Jake Rosati. The series starts with Jenna receiving a letter from “A Friend” telling her that as she is, she could disappear and no one would know it. Later that day she ends up in an accident that causes her to be forever branded as a suicidal person. In between all the drama that she had to go through both in school and at home, with her not-so-old parents not acting so mature, she’s taken to blogging out her concerns. She doesn’t bother making her blog private and later on even forwards it to the whole school. Needless to say, she really had a way with words that has inspired me to write in my blog more.

I’ve accepted that it is perfectly alright to write short blog posts. Guaranteed, I can never write like Jenna does in the TV shows, for I prefer to use code names and am not at all a witty writer, but I’ve been thinking a lot about making my blog more…private. I know I’ve been writing about my life but I haven’t been really a no-holds-barred writer; even in this blog I semi-screen what I right. And as Tamara did with Jenna and Ming all the time, I now realize that it’s perfectly acceptable to coin my own terms whenever I see them fit. Although goodness knows when that time will come. I’ve resolved to be less conscious about my grammar and vocab; I don’t need to sound like an encyclopedia. Blogging should feel carefree and easy.

I’ve also convinced myself that blogging need not be done only once a day at the maximum. I remember, when I took to writing in diaries I’d try to right as much as I can in one go. This usually means writing at night so that I could write down the days events. But as I got busier and my handwriting got crappier, I lost the enthusiasm to write. Hopefully blogging will bring it back (thank artists for pretty legible fonts!)

So to my friend White/Rainbowraid, thank you for suggesting Awkward to me. You may not know it, but it did me a lot of good 🙂

Signing off,

*******23

P.S.: Goodbye, drop-caps.