Tag Archives: crush

Strangers in the Afternoon

Warning: this post may irk you. But if you manage to convince yourself that this is worth reading, please do so. This is about boys though, among other things.

I’m no extraordinary beauty; there’s nothing truly remarkable in my appearance. Nevertheless, I’ve been compared to different local actresses and have been on the receiving ends of guys’ appreciative looks. However, when I had my hair cut really short during college, all these vanished. Gone were the seats vacated at the bus and offered to me; gone were the near accidents that some guys almost met upon taking the chance to take a second look. I truly was able to relate to Robin’s sentiments when (spoiler alert!) she seemed invisible to other guys whenever she was wearing Barney’s engagement ring.

I figured it was because I looked younger with short hair, which I did. My mom was ecstatic at the first short haircut, saying that I finally looked my age, but got increasingly distressed over the future, much shorter haircuts. But with the nearing of graduation-photo-season, I decided it was high time I grew my hair. With a final asymmetrical bob last.. August, I think? I prepared myself for weird hair lengths I’d predictably have to suffer through.

After a couple of months, the things I got used to being absent started popping up again. It was just looks at first, until the other day. I was hanging out at Tropical Hut waiting for my mom to pick me up, when a guy asked for my name and number. I won’t deny it: it was gratifying. What’s more, he looked good and seemed to be working already; he also seemed respectful. He even waited for me to start and finish the tall glass of  maize con hielo I ordered before excusing himself to talk to me!

I just found this amusing because just the other day, an acquaintance of mine was telling me how he got to hang out with a girl for an afternoon (and recently accepted his friend request on Facebook). He was at one of the university’s cafeterias and only a couple of tables were occupied. He noticed a girl he’s seen several times before and decided to take a risk: he approached her and said, non-verbatim, “Miss, can I sit here at your table? See, it can be very lonely to eat by one’s self. ” and it paid off, albeit temporarily.

Onto other strangers. I claimed my 2-week pass at Fitness First (a popular gym here in the Philippines) and started today. To sum it up in 140 chars, let me post a collage of my tweet & the pic:

FF = Fitness Forever! The tweet says it all. (Photo courtesy of my new phone)
FF = Fitness Forever! The tweet says it all.
(Photo courtesy of my new phone)

And I was able to enlist the help of a couple of strangers in figuring out things. One of the attendants (or was she a trainer?) even offered to help me out with my workout regimen, but then I was bent on attending a class, in which I can say with complete honesty that I got my money’s worth. Note that I was able to buy this 2-week unlimited use of facilities pass for only roughly 770 PhP  (17 USD).

Last, but definitely not the least (!!) I was on the way home, commuting and being a good girl, texting my mom updates on my whereabouts along the way. I have settled into the jeep I was riding which would take me to my street, really settled with the hunk beside me sneaking glances. I don’t presume to think it was me he was glancing at, but I’d like to think so.. 😉 and when I say ‘hunk’, I meant that he was well-muscled and toned: he actually reminded me of a more defined Asian version of Seeley Booth from Bones. He also looked like he already works and his muscles seemed like occupational markers, not ones those people at FF earlier today were trying to get. Anyway, I was enjoying sitting beside him when I suddenly saw our car on the other side of the road! Apparently my mom was still in one of her offices and, deciding against my hormones, I got out of the jeep and went to my mom. Turns out there was a short circuit that caused a small lick of flame and a lot of smoke. I then accompanied my mom home on another jeep. I tell you, I wouldn’t mind giving my number to that man (I think he’s past the point of being called a boy) if he ever asked for it.

Of course, I’m joking.. Or am I? 😉

PS: On an entirely different topic, I just finished Dead Witch Walking by Kim Harrison! Rachel, the main character, has spunk and quirks that will make you both love her and be exasperated by her, but you should definitely try this if you’re into fantasy, mystery, and action. (Count adventure in since you’re delving into a whole new world.) I believe that adds a new book to my 2014 list! 21 to go 🙂

“Hey, Mum, guess what? Guess who we just met on the train?”
Harry leant back quickly so they wouldn’t see him looking. “You know that black-haired boy who was near use in the station? Know who he is?”
“Who?”
“Harry Potter!”
Harry heard the little girl’s voice.
“Oh, Mum, can I go on the train and see him, Mum, oh please..”
–excerpt from Harry Potter and the Philosopher’ Stone

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Missed Connection: A Visit Down Memory Lane

^I’m not such a fan of breaking the words in the wrong places, but I really like the concept. (Photo from http://www.buffalocomedy.com/)

I’ll get right into it because it’s a school night and nearing 2 am already. This is just one of those things that’s been bugging me for a while now, and even causing some restless dreams..so cliche, right? Moreover, the thoughts may have been reinforced when my family started watching the series entitled Sherlock. If you’re a fan of both the books and the past movies, I highly recommend you watch this; after all, there’s just 3 episodes to a season (and the show is currently on its third). The simple connection was this: Benedict Cumberbatch’s appearance reminded me of this guy. Of course, I don’t mean to say that he was as sexy as dear Sherlock, but he shared the general look.

When I was in my early years of high school, I was inclined to be close to some upper years because they were our ‘guides’ as to how to get around the campus, and they were our ‘seniors’ in various organizations. I was pretty sociable but I’ve never really been part of the popular ‘in’ crowd; I gravitated towards ‘more lonely’ people who seemed interesting but just didn’t have an ear to tell their stories to. If I was lucky, I’d end up with a really quiet person whom I’d gradually get to open up to me. This was (and still is, when it happens) gratifying because you can feel the person’s trust building and I’ve always found it nice, seeing them ‘come out of their shells’.

Moving on, there was this boy that I think was at least 2 years older than me; I don’t remember seeing him while I was in my junior year, but maybe I was just too preoccupied with my academics and same-age friends by then. Like B. Cumberbatch’s version of Sherlock, he was white, tall, and had a lanky frame; I think he wore glasses from time to time. He looked like he has some foreign blood, and I remember having primarily-English conversations with him. Thinking back, he seemed to prefer being by himself. Nevertheless, I distinctly remember taking walks with him around or school’s oval, something I don’t normally do with people unless we have long, interesting conversations. I truly hope I wasn’t obvious, but I had a crush on him back then. We got along quite well, although I don’t remember how exactly we stopped talking to one another..

Fast-forward to college. I remember thinking where he could have gone, if he even decided to stay in the same country. I didn’t dwell on it; I was pretty preoccupied with adjusting to college life and trying to face my impending academical challenges with renewed ardor. But one day, I saw him: it wasn’t hard to mistake that face for anyone else’s. He grew his hair out and was then sporting a shoulder-length head of curls, not that it fit him well. I distinctly remember feeling the urge to hide and at the same time wondering why he was alone, and whether he would remember me. I’d say we were quite close in high school, so who’s to say the past cannot repeat itself?

I was able to put him out of my mind in time. My classes pretty much confined me to my college’s set of buildings, and I never so much as caught a glimpse of him in the past semesters. But this semester, I’m taking a GE (General Education) class in the Archaeology building, which he seems to frequent. He got a haircut (oh yes please, now you’re looking more like Sherlock!) and looked as if he didn’t change at all since high school! Which then made me reconsider reacquainting myself with him. I eventually got curious enough to consider greeting him sometime; curious at to whether our previous closeness can be reestablished, and whether he just really preferred to be alone like before but still had an interesting personality.

I have doubts of course. I don’t remember his name. He would have recognized me several encounters before if he did remember me, but he showed no signs of recognition. I don’t remember anything specific about him, I just remembered being close to him; consequentially, I feel apprehensive at approaching him because I have no idea on how to open the conversation on a lighthearted yet familiar and welcoming note.

We’ll see in the coming days whether my curiosity gets the better of me, or not.

On other news, I’ve re-finished the first 5 books of the Harry Potter series! I’m now on the 6th book, which is just fitting as I was able to choose the corresponding films as the subject on my upcoming report in my Film GE. I’m supposed to focus on the essay; but it never hurt being familiar with the original works, right? 😉

Mr. Ollivander cried, “Oh, bravo! Yes, indeed, oh, very good. Well, well, well.. how curious.. how very curious..” He put Harry’s wand back into its box and wrapped it in brown paper, still muttering, “Curious.. curious..”
“Sorry,” said Harry, “but what’s curious?”
Mr. Ollivander fixed Harry with his pale stare.
“I remember every wand I’ve ever sold, Mr. Potter. Every single wand. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather is in your wand, gave another feather — just one other. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother why, its brother gave you that scar.”
–excerpt from Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone

The Week-long Irony

Definition of "irony" from the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary.
Definition of “irony” from the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary.

I don’t know if there’s any clearer way of explaining how apt the title is than by narrating the things that have happened to me this past week. If you’re uncertain of the definition of the word ‘irony’ (as was I, when I began writing this post), I have included a short definition of it from Merriam-Webster. I hope it would suffice.

Tuesday. My sister just started her on-the-job training at The Buffet, a restaurant located along Commonwealth, Quezon City. They are required to wear uniforms which included white long-sleeved blouses and black flats. My sister insisted on buying these items Tuesday afternoon. I didn’t want to go since I was tired from a long day at school, but I eventually went and waited for her at Starbucks while writing my notes. I drank an iced peppermint mocha (sorry, but I really prefer the taste of CBTL beverages. Good thing this isn’t a drink review), which will come into play later. Once we were together, we proceeded to shop and I discovered that there was an ongoing sale on women’s lingerie/underwear, so I went to buy 2 bras while she went looking for her tops. I also got to buy a pair of really comfortable beige flats! (Note that I didn’t want to go to the mall in the first place.) When we were having our items reserved, I suddenly realized that my phone, wallet, and handkerchief were gone. Nothing out of the ordinary happened in the last few moments, so it was really confusing. We talked with the mall management and asked for a review of the CCTV records, but it ‘just so happened’ that the cameras were focused on the merchandise and its view of me was cut. WOW. The biggest irony was that I’ve been planning to replace my wallet and phone for some time; I even have a replacement wallet ready at home since my wallet’s leather was peeling already. Also, I lost 600-700 Php with the wallet..and just moments before, I offered to pay for my flats which cost 600 Php.

Wednesday. I spent part of the weekend writing pre-laboratory protocols for one of my lab classes. Suddenly, we were informed the night before that we were going to do primer design instead of plant DNA extraction since some needed reagents were out of stock. Just when I finally didn’t cram my pre-lab notes, we didn’t have to use them. 😐 Furthermore, I think we spent more time figuring out how to install Beacon Primer Designer (a program) rather than the actual designing….

Thursday. My Archaeology class is held every Tuesday and Thursday, from 4-5:30 pm. Last Tuesday, a guy was added to our group, still making me the only girl in the group. I talked with him and found out that we were in the same year and that he also sings, among other things. I thought that he may be a potential crush and was even thinking of blogging about him. When we had class today (meaning Thursday), I realized that I felt no attraction to him at all. Oh heart, what a fickle ‘mind’ you have.

Friday. I was hurrying from my tissue culture lab class to my film class and was running late. I asked Violet (refer to past previous posts) if she could drive me there because I didn’t want to miss the movie we were going to watch, as we had to write a paper about it. When I got to the building (15-20 minutes late), all my classmates were waiting outside the room because it was locked. 😐 I even had to look for the person that our teacher supposedly left in charge of our class’ activities for that day. I hurried for nothing!! and wasted Violet’s gas allowance in the process of doing so. >_<

Saturday. I went to school for two reasons: to help out in the applicants’ orientation of my university’s floorball organization, which I’m applying for, and to attend my institute’s organizations’ practice for the carol-fest (a Christmas singing competition), which is taking place on December 6. I was running late because it was Bonifacio Day (look it up if you want 🙂 ) and my usual route was overcome with traffic. I couldn’t text anyone because I had no phone. When I arrived at the venue, there was no one. I wasn’t able to go online the night before, and had no updates as to whether the event was moved. Note that this was going to be the first meeting that I’d be attending this semester, and it was apparently moved to next week 😐 So I proceeded to my university’s main library, intending to study for my exams this following week. To my surprise, the library was closed! And with a face-palm, I realized it’s because of Bonifacio Day, yet again. I then went to my institute’s building to study there..only to pass the time exchanging stories with our resident guard.

A good thing though, was that I got the solo part I was pining for 🙂 However, I’ve been feeling under the weather since Wednesday/Thursday night (which is why I’ve only been sleeping for the past couple of nights instead of studying) and this sore throat keeps bugging me. Just when I finally get the part did I get sick. Why Universe/God, why? 😦

Hoping everything works out (and soon),

*******23

P.S. Currently reading From Genes to Genomes: Concepts and Applications of DNA Technology. Never thought I’d say this, but I actually find it fun and enlightening to read a textbook for once. This is awesome ❤

Summer Lovin’ and Whatever May Come

Near the end of January last year, I met a person whom I was to become very close to for the next couple of months. We grew to like each other and thought that it would be a wonderful idea to attend summer classes together. Things ended badly but him being my first love, I cannot deny that he’ll always hold a special place in my heart. Afterward, I grew pessimistic about my chances of meeting someone else. Little did I know about the surprises this summer had for me.

Having felt love, I can truly and honestly say that I don’t love this person in that manner (yet?), although I do know that I love him as a friend. We haven’t known each other that long, but seeing and/or talking to one another everyday helped speed up our getting-to-know phase. During our class’ field trip, we started talking to each other (to be honest, I didn’t really pay much attention to him except that he was my group-mate in previous activities) and our classmates started teasing us, calling us the names of a love-team from a famous local movie that was shown during the bus ride. We didn’t mind them and took the teasing in stride for we knew that there wasn’t really anything to be ‘guilty’ of; we just enjoyed each other’s company and enjoyed talking to one another. This was further cemented by the conversation I had with him while he was drunk.

Post-field trip, I found out that he was part of the sports organization whose PE course I was taking (also this summer). This only served to widen our common ground, and I tried to convince him to play with the club’s other members against my PE class. Eventually, we got to texting and chatting on Facebook. We’d chat until the wee hours of the morning, and jokingly blame each other for sleeping too late. Eventually, he asked me out on a date–a legit one, although he apparently planned it to be a friendly one originally. In class, we let our classmates have their fun at teasing us; in private, we just got to know each other better and rarely became cheesy. Over the past couple of days, I admittedly became frustrated of how his ‘online self’ oftentimes does not coincide with his ‘real self’. It’s as if he becomes a different person when there are people around: he keeps his distance and acts as if we were just acquaintances. I’ve thought that I may be reading too much into his ‘detachment’–after all, expectations breed disappointment–and tried consulting a couple of close friends whom I also just made in the same class. Then and there I decided to be Taoist when it came to him and embody wu wei. But then I got drunk.

It was the day of our charity event to a home for the aged (the first of which I’d heard of in the Philippines). Since we finished early, someone proposed that we hang out and drink some; I honestly went along because I wanted to hang out with them and thought there would be karaoke. I wasn’t really into senseless drinking: that is, drinking for the sake of getting drunk. It happened accidentally, of course (’twas my first time. I’m not proud of it but it happened. At least I am more knowledgeable of my limits now.), but I didn’t know I’d be very..uninhibited and..clingy. I don’t know how our classmates called me ‘cute’; maybe because I insisted on sleeping and he insisted on putting my head on his shoulder, saying that he doesn’t want me to trade him for a table. To sum it all up, we were very couple-y. He even took me home, out of a mixture of concern for my well-being and because he likes me (his words, not mine). It still amazes me to this day how I felt so protected as he took me home, and even as he prevented me from going home before I’d sobered up a little. Brought up as a rather independent woman, acting like that and being like that has ever entered my mind. Truly, I think we kind-of ‘floored the gas’ with that experience.

It felt rather awkward for me to approach him after that. I felt that I’d overstepped a boundary too soon, and there were times that I’d overthink about my actions. To maintain some semblance of normality, I’d tease him to other people (I had reason to) and shut up about my apprehensions. It worked a little, even for me. A recently-became-close friend and I talked about it and she said that we’d have to DTR soon. In return, I asked, “is there even a relationship to define?” It was a valid question in my opinion. Everything was going so fast and it felt like we were getting carried away by the waves of support that our classmates were giving. I understood that liking someone is nothing serious in his mind; I also knew it need not be. It wasn’t always easy to believe though, given how he can be really sweet sometimes, not to mention the adorable quirks I’ve come to know he has. I just threw a prayer to God and hoped that if it was going to be our last, we might as well have fun at our date.

It was my first time to casual date, so I was nervous as to how I should behave. Fortunately (or not), we’ve become somehow physically comfortable with each other. Holding hands, having his arm around my shoulders, hugging–it all felt natural. I also felt nervous about running out of topics to talk about, but fortunately, we didn’t. We shared jokes and funny stories, even embarrassing ones from his side. After watching The Great Gatsby, we decided that we had some things to talk about. At this point, saying that I was nervous would be an understatement. All that was going through my mind was, “I know where this is going. It’s his final year, and he’s bound to be more focused on his studies…but I really enjoy his company; I don’t want ‘us’ to end like this.”

Thankfully, he was thinking along the same lines. He acknowledged his priorities and said that he wasn’t looking for a relationship, but may be open to one once he’s graduated. He admitted to not wanting our friendship to end because he also enjoyed having me around. I was going through what I termed ‘guy-withdrawal’ (that is, missing the feeling of being held in someone’s arms and generally being taken care of by a special someone) and agreed to set some boundaries whenever we hung out. He coined a term for our present situation: “MU-friends”. (Later on when I shared this to a guy friend, he told me that it’s similar to what can be known as the ideal MU situation.) We set other rules which I won’t bother to share here; just know that those are rules with which we planned to keep (and prolong, maybe even develop) our current ‘relationship’.

I am no exception when I say that a lot of people fear the unknown. This new ‘relationship’ is uncharted waters for me; and although there is the possibility of discovering hidden treasures, one cannot help but ask if the trip is worth it. But as I said when asked about my philosophy in life,

“Don’t live your life being afraid of doing the wrong things. As Mae West said, ‘To err is human, but it feels divine.'”

Over and out,

*******23